How to Gain Trust Back

Two talking girlsIt goes without saying that it does not take much to lose someone’s trust.  From a simple mis-communication to an outright betrayal, simply put, their confidence in you is shaken and deep feelings of hurt have been stirred.  It becomes difficult for them to see you as anything more than someone that does not value the relationship.

Misunderstanding or not, the injured party believes you are willing to play with their emotions.  But take heart, if the relationship is important enough to you, it is possible for you to turn things around.  If you ever do find yourself in the situation of having to earn back someone’s trust it is important for you to remember that they do not owe you anything – so take care to remain patient with them as they heal from their injury.

Since actions speak louder than words and it is your actions that will demonstrate your remorse at having wronged your friend or loved one in the first place.  Take the blame for the situation and do not attempt to pin any of it on them.  If the damage was not too deep, this may be all that you need to do for both of you to move forward.

You may notice that your words or promises no longer have the same impact they once had, and rightfully so since you have now lost credibility through your actions.  While it may be difficult, there may need to be a cooling off period before you can approach your friend or relative in seeking to rectify things.  Taking the time to consider what you did to lose their trust in the first place before approaching them can demonstrate to them that you feel remorse for your actions.

Perhaps trust was lost due to a misunderstanding and the other party is not allowing you to express your version of the circumstances.  In this case, asking the person politely for the consideration of hearing your version of the events.  If they refuse, then write to them about how much your relationship means to you and include your apology.

Don’t justify your actions if it is obvious you are to blame, just make an apology, ask for forgiveness, express regret, and then give them time and space.  Remember to also forgive yourself and move forward.  You cannot spend an eternity beating yourself up for a mistake you made or your life will become miserable.

There will be circumstances when the person who has been betrayed seems as if they will never come around.  In some instances, it may not be possible to earn their trust back.  If this turns out to be the case then the best way for you to demonstrate to them that you truly value them is to respect their wishes and go your own way.

Nobody can go through life completely on their own, most everyone needs someone to confide in at one time or another.  However, a good rule of thumb to follow is that if someone tells you a secret, it is best to keep it to yourself.  Alternatively, if you are the one with the secret, keep it to yourself. Above all else, live ethically from here on out so you do not find yourself again in the same situation.