Often times when we face a physical relationship break up, the only thing we seem capable of doing is focusing on the positive attributes we enjoyed during the course of the relationship. Another aspect we can get distracted by is dreaming endlessly about what could have been. However, an honest assessment of what may truly have been transpiring between the two people involved can paint an entirely different picture than the blissful rerun that is playing over and over again in your mind.
Taking a moment to get a pen and paper and labeling one page with the word “Positives” and one page with the word “Negatives” will set you on the right path towards launching a fresh start, not to mention a fresh perspective. To begin taking an honest look at the actual dynamics present during the relationship, start by listing the attributes that contributed to the partnership. When everything is said and done, we would more than likely find that the negatives far outweigh the positives.
How can I be so sure of this outcome? Because if the list results were reversed to where the positives outweigh the negatives, then the affiliation would have been built from more of the essential elements that create long lasting, healthy relationships. Certain key elements are required, such as good communication, in order to make associations last for the long haul.
Perhaps this exercise will make it more apparent that the two of you did not have all that much in common in the first place. It is said that if we want to meet someone of a similar mindset then we must get up, go out, and do the things we enjoy taking part in. Surely, we will find someone else there that enjoys doing the same types of things that we do.
At times, however, our hearts can become broken as result of a physical loss of a loved one. Realizing that the majority of our pain that we suffer when someone we love passes is truly only ourselves expressing our selfish needs since we are not hurting for them, but rather, it is our pain over the loss of them in our lives that brings us to grieve as we do. If the person was suffering from physical illness then it can be comforting to think they are no longer pain and we should be rejoicing for their courage to let go and move on.
All in all, whether it is the end of a relationship or physical loss at the root of our heartache and suffering, the best way to mend a broken heart is to take care of our own heart by liking and accepting who we are in the first place. As I have written of in the past, we can be our very own worst enemies and often bring a majority of our heartache on ourselves from false and preconceived notions that may or may not have any merit or factual value.
Taking a realistic evaluation of what is at the root cause of our heartache can help to reveal its true cause so it can be dealt with in a genuine matter. This method of being honest with ourselves about what we are actually going through will help mend most every broken heart we may encounter along our way since focusing on the negative will only serve to apply energy to the aspect of the heartache.